Games People Play

Games People Play

The Psychology of Human Relationships

Book - 1996
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Presents the author's theory that significant social intercourse most commonly takes the form of games; contains descriptions of the individual games people play; and examines clinical and theoretical material in an attempt to understand what it means to be game-free.
Publisher: New York : Ballantine Books, [1996]
Edition: 1st Ballantine Books trade ed.
ISBN: 9780345410030
0345410033
Branch Call Number: 302 BE
Characteristics: 192 p. ; 18 cm.

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this is a very dangerous book: it's dynamite. for every reader thinking he can make a positive outcome out of reading it, there must be at least one, who nefariously desires to be taught how to take advantage of others, using 'games.' which one will you be? so, this is an ethics book as much as it is a psychology book. it is NOT a happy, feel good book, I'm OK, You're OK, cha-cha-cha, and etc.....it is so much deeper than that, and, as such, discerning readers might just find it an unpleasant, upsetting read. Where do you go from here? My old TA tutor, Uncle John the flower man, said to stick with the original, Sigmund Freud. I was studying British Object Relations Theory at the time, as well as Transactional Analysis. I struggle to make a synthesis out of the two. A book that has gone forgotten, Scripts People Live, by Dr. Claude Steiner, came into the foreground, for awhile. And then Fritz Perls was discovered. Ever heard of Gestalt Theory? Gestalt Therapy? Fritz passed in the early 70s, so did Eric. And this revolution in helping people was swamped by something. ?????? Technology? Silicon Valley? Gay Rights? Ayn Rand? Who knows? Was it NASA? Those who advise, Don't Think(those who advise us not to think)--it's all such a big mess, people joining movements to advance their lives, I ask you to solemnly pledge not to use this book to enhance your 'personal power'. Detoxify your relationships instead. Please. Freud: delayed gratification of pleasure and the repression of instinctual sexual desires is lodged in the unconscious. one of the games I missed seeing here is GOOD COP/BAD COP, maybe it was listed under COPS AND ROBBERS, as a subvariant. you see this one enacted a lot on the cop shows on tv, especially during the interrogation scenes. how come the supects never listen to the advice of their attorney, then? is there masochism involved? or do they get caught up in the passion of the crusading cops? as we, the viewers, are meant to. sublimation is the answer to the question, 'Why games?' when a fox sneaks into the chicken coop she does not necessarily want to be seen. when someone says, "did you shave for me?" that is a tipoff that there is a game present. the book separates them into categories, such as, LIFE GAMES, and MARRIAGE GAMES. so this time I followed him out the door, and watched him get into his car (very quickly), and leave rapidly. satisfied (though I should not have been), I returned to my apartment. upon reflection, I realized that his quick movement was uncharacteristic, therefore, possibly false. what prevented his circling the block and reparking, once the coast was clear. there are THERAPY GAMES, too. many narcissists fancy themselves as leaders. they are very defensive of the self image, and tend to wreak revenge if someone even if inadvertently tweaks that ego bubble. but their image doesn't contain the feature of being vengeful, so they need to cloak such endeavors in a disguise, such as a game of IM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU. sometimes they will covertly court the slight of themselves, such as by playing a game of GEE YOU'RE WONDERFUL PROFESSOR, so that they run a decent chance of being made to appear stupid (in their own eyes), and then are allowed to assuage their hurt feelings by a more or less complicated revenge. NOW I'VE GOT YOU SON OF A BITCH is a prime example. the leftist media who all supported Billary last election appears to be following this path, to the end. it's just a hunch: but since this behavior reminds me of that of poisonous snakes, I'd guess it comes from the reptilian part of the brain. and, as the cliché goes, is 'hardwired.' (because we're all just machines, after all) for those who need the hint, that last was sarcasm, on my part.

xaipe Jan 01, 2015

This is an oldie but goodie. This is an older book based on transactional analysis. It looks at the roles people play in their interactions based on unconscious "rules" that we follow in dealing with others. I read this book years ago, but the games described still pop up in my mind in the middle of some conversations. For example, I recently had a conversation with a friend who complained about his bank's unfair rules and really outrageous fees and penalties. I suggested that he move his account to another bank. He gave me several reasons why he couldn't, but continued to complain about how he hated his present bank. I got sucked into a game of "Why Don't You .... Yes, But ......" The games appear to be normal to those involved and observers, but have a private significance and are usually counterproductive. Years after its publication, this book is still very relevant and influential. Some other "games": "See What You Made Me Do," "Ain't It Awful", "Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch," and others you will be embarrassed to recognize. I loved re-reading it.

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