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BRRRR. This mountain is hella cold! This 2003 adaptation of Charles Frazier's acclaimed, best-selling novel is a time capsule of what was considered "good" filmmaking in the early 00s and the steamrolling power of Harvey Weinstein and Miramax. Basically "The Odyssey" retold during the Civil War, "Cold Mountain" is stunningly bad; from the terrible accents to the historical cluelessness to the wooden dialogue. For some reason, much of the cast is non-American (Law, Kidman, Brendan Gleson, Ray Winstone, Cillian Murphy) and not a single actor does a convincing southern accent. They all seemed to have learned from reruns of "Hee Haw." As someone else noted, it's also a Civil War movie that doesn't mention slavery and, though set in the South, has no significant black characters. It does have a ridiculously huge class, most of whom aren't in it long enough to make an impression. I enjoyed seeing Jack White for like 5 minutes. Somehow, Renee Zellweger won an Oscar for this. Also, it's really long.

lukasevansherman's rating:
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